Well it’s Monday. And if you’ve ever seen Office Space you know that ‘case of the Mondays’ is something you don’t want to associate yourself with.
Well unfortunately for me, I am injured. Kind of shitty seeing as how my life is pretty well wrapped around training and nutrition. Here I am shitting the bed not being able to go to the gym.
Instead of the route I planned to take, which was positively use my time to my advantage, I let my emotions fuel my mind. Some would say ‘ah your fine your already in shape’ but to the mind of someone who likes to live their life in the fast lane, this pace for me is like being strapped to the bed and stuck between four white walls.
I stopped tracking Sunday afternoon. I enjoyed dinner with my family. I was okay until I started dealing getting all emotional and ‘I’ll go have a snack”. Well I went and polished off a row of Crackers with jam topped on them.
Today I woke up feeling like someone had hit me 10x and my back was not good. I was tired, I was shivering and I had nothing on my agenda, which meant everything in my mind would surface again.
On the bright side, I spent less time thinking about eating, and more time sleeping. When I could eat, I had pb and j , I had some soup.. But dang. It was not me. I quickly realize at the end of the day where I am, the anxiety I feel, and the procrastination I think sits with me to complete or address other issues outside of my injury.
Maybe it needed to happen. Maybe being injured gave me more time to open my eyes to how much my career related anxiety was chasing me into a dark place, whether or not I could see it. Why was I not in a good place right now? What is the route of this feeling?
After leaving my head, I decided right before writing this, I was paving this path myself and I can quickly turn it around. I am not an emotional eater, I am not going to be depressed and be sick to my stomach from emotions, I am going to change the way this is rolling.
Here we are a few moments later and I’m ready to take away a lesson from my own mistakes. I reached out immediately upon identifying this feeling. Not for comfort, not to be pat on the back.
To be understood and to say it out loud is knowing physically that I’m shaking this off, and starting the rest of TODAY a new. Not tomorrow, I don’t have to wait. Right now.
It’s Tuesday now, and since writing this I’ve been able to look it over and agree with myself… The change needed to be instant or this morning I would wake up regretting these past few days. I don’t like to dwell because it only causes the problem to resurface, Here we are on Tuesday, and I’m up and ready to take on the day.
I’ve identified what I’m still able to do, what I’ve got going on for myself, and what I can strive for in the meantime. Here’s to more progress, whether it’s slower than usual, or it’s just the right pace. Won’t know until I try 🙂