The Mental

So i’ve always considered myself a hard ass. Someone who can just block out any bullshit and muscle through the rough.

Well, this year my mental game has been soft. I’m going to open a whole new can of worms for you because i’m not ashamed.

Well, those of you who know me well know I’ve got a poor relationship with one half of my family. Well, this year the last straw was pulled and I pulled the short one, so it was my time to turn the other direction and forget about ’em. Well, this tough love thing and moving on is pretty tough, but until I can clear my mind of that negative junk, it’s gotta be wayyyy left field. Despite the non-clinical diagnostic, I was constantly baffled by the idiocy of one narcissistic sociopath, and I’ve come to terms that even though I’d laugh off their actions, smile and nod politely, it really pissed me off. The coddling of this individual by their keepers was another scenario that turned me purple. If you could picture yourself trying to explain something to a piece of burnt toast, you would understand that conversation did not go far, it just seemed to dry out and go nowhere.

So here we are, moving forward and hoping to let it go and know I’ve tried my part, and it’s the best I could do. But my energy is better spent elsewhere, and that’s where we’re headed…

I have been working very hard at making Mighty Beanz successful, and have been trying to give my athletes an experience where they feel like they’re really being coached, and don’t just get a date stamp on their plan and say thanks for coming out and checking in. I truly believe in being personable and knowing each of my athletes. When the time comes where I can’t be the SINGLE human to touch base with, Mighty Beanz will look for an assistant coach so to speak, but that is way down the road. Right now, i’m trying to learn as much as I can and teach as much as I learn. Sharing the wealth with my homies ;D

So over the course of building my brand I thought of a box full of things:
What am I feeling?
What are my goals?
What is my “timeline”?
Who’s here with me?
Who is rooting for me along this path to success?
What have I changed lately?
Am I growing as an individual?
Am I staying true to myself?

Well I answered them all pretty quick in a big cluster of thoughts. It was reciting all 50 states in a quarter of a second! 

Well, I’m feeling excited. I feel like i’m on FIRE, and that’s thanks to Martin Rooney and what I’ve been learning from him.
My goals are to exceed the salary I once made in 2013 at my “desk job”. I plan on exceeding it by 20%. I plan on meeting my halfway mark and exceeding it by 12% within the first half of the year.
Right now, I’ve got my “Family” surrounding me. My family is made up of a lot of non related people, but we’ll throw it out there because they deserve to know:
1) My mom and Mark, and their side of the family
2) My best half, Jimmy…… And Ella And Kimbo and Grace (so im basically in 5ths)
3) My training partners/coaches
4) My good friends who are older and more experienced in life than me
5) My students! I learn so much from you that you have no idea how much I appreciate working WITH you, I dont work FOR you, dont forget that!

Lately I’ve changed my ways and allowed myself to be “as busy as I want to be” and by that, I mean I don’t sit down very often. This blog was a freaking treat to get to write! I’ve re-arranged my schedule to ensure I am not sacrificing my quality of life, but i’m still doing the most I can to generate the results I want.

As an individual, I’m trying to grow and learn from all of the life that seems to avalanche down into my lap. I have to admit, I have made it out pretty good out of every situation. I have a solid handful of people to thank for being there for me for that, but the one person who’s words resonate with me most are Gord’s. He’s made me sit and really think about everything in the ways I wouldn’t think of myself…. And hell I really need that. Rather than everyone egging on the safe, average scenario, he makes me see my own worth… That is important to me.

Lastly, I think the best way to estimate if i’m staying true to myself is to view if i’m happy. Right now I can say since I’ve walked away from such a negative half of my life, I’ve welcomed a huge new flood of ideas and plans, and i’ve met some great people. It takes me less than a second to break the ice and feel comfortable around them, so i’d say yeah… Not changing for anyone, only growing.

Well, that’s my life. Identifying that underlying stress was important for me. It’s still one of those things that I’ll have creep up on me, but there’s too many good people, and good opportunities waiting right in front of me. Overcoming that dark, vulnerable side in my life is important. I’ll use my vulnerability to learn, and that little dark fire inside can burn out.

Brick by brick by brick.