I know my blogs have all been about fitness lately, and I haven’t been doing anything overly fun and exciting…

HOWEVER – the other day James and I DID go trailing and it was a hella good time.

He’s missing his sidekick, and I’m missing my sidekick so we’re equally ready to cut down the work load after this show and get a bit of down time. We’re moving into our first house on June 14 and we couldn’t be more excited. Both of us have gotten to the point where we’ve outgrown a bedroom, and not having any alone time (if you know what I mean) can kinda get to ya.

So the reason for this jib jab of mine.. Here we go.

I can’t help but notice everyone is jumping on the Fitness Bandwagon. And I get it, it’s cool, it’s hard work. It’s worth something to a lot of people and it’s a huge lifestyle change that you SHOULD be proud of! How far you come from wherever you were before is a HUGE win for yourself. You should be proud of that.

Although, some people seem to be jumping on the “extremist super fitness wagon” where they decide to get ready for a show – be it 6 weeks out or 6 months out, and they all of a sudden are Ms. Figure, Ms. Bikini, etc etc. The problem with this, is we are in a sport called BODYBUILDING, and part of that process entails persistence and patience. I have been training since I was 17 years old, now 21 – I still am not at my ideal physique. Do I worry about that? No. Do I start taking a huge abundance of drugs and destroy my health and well being so I can look like that for my next show? No. I believe in HEALTH, and small, incremental changes from year to year. If you work hard, those details really come out when you step on stage. then you don’t have to worry about something “malfunctioning” … “retaining water”…. whatever. You just fucking work and when the going gets tough you be TOUGHER. Then you take a step back, reassess the plan, and make an action plan to further improve. This sport isn’t about getting to the top of the ladder the fastest. I woulda lost all hope and quit competing after having to compete FIVE TIMES before I even qualified for ONTARIOS. Come on, you see so many people at Ontario’s now and you’re like ” holy shit, you took that long, you must have looked like shit” … well partially, but I actually learned something during that time.

So now I want to give back, and hopefully give you all some insight on what I believe to be VERY important in this industry, whether you’re only here for the hype or you’re actually willing to put in the time and effort to have some longevity in this sport.

You see someone who looks insane at the gym or in a magazine. You approach a trainer at the gym and ask them to get you into that shape, they agree, take your money, and you have no idea what you’re getting into.
DISASTER AWAITS. Although I can’t say every trainer sucks, you can’t expect an average CanFitPro trainer to be able to get you into contest shape. As well, just because someone has DONE A SHOW does NOT MEAN they have a fucking clue. Generally, they follow a trainers program to get to their show, and if they looked good – their trainer was half decent. Sometimes phenomenal. That being said, this does not entitle them to “EXPERT” status, as they only know what they were told by their trainer for THEIR BODY. Go online, look up the people who inspire you, be it local, professional, semi-pro or just competitive. Look at WHO trains them, try to get details on HOW they train. Get a GOOD trainer. Learn from them, maybe branch off to a different trainer after that. BUT LISTEN TO ONE FUCKING PERSON ONLY if you’re going to train with them. Nothing is worse than trying to coach someone and wondering WTF is going on, only to find out Bob Saget told them chicken was going to give them cancer so they start eating black beans or some bullshit.

Not all trainers can handle a large client load. You sign up for a cookie cutter program for the most part if that’s the case. Unless your Eric (Lean Bodies Consulting) or Layne Norton- but they charge a big buck for REAL INDIVIDUALIZATION.
Your coach should be basing your diet and training around you – Your height, weight, goal, and what you need to focus on to obtain a solid physique.

Nobody, I mean NOBODY should be eating a straight up fish and egg white diet. If you are, I hope you like fish and eggs and you’re doing it on purpose. That’s the path to clear MD(Metabolic Damage). When your body reaches a deficit BEYOND LOW CALORIE, it just stops. It says … hmmm well we’re not going to change shape, and we’re not going to lose anymore weight. quite frankly, we might even gain weight. Your trainer accuses you of cheating, lowers calories even more, from egg whites and fish to half of the egg whites and fish you were eating. Now not just diminishing carbs but diminishing any sort of food you were eating. You finish your show, don’t look nearly as good as you wanted, you binge, you gain 40 lbs. Suddenly, you cant lose that weight again. Your trainer says you have to diet harder than last time. You start at 1200 calories a day, you finish at 600. You still look like shit. If this sounds like you, GET A NEW TRAINER

Although most people say ” oh I rebounded so hard I have metabolic damage”. No. You don’t. You might have fucked it up because it was at an alltime low, and during your “Anabolic prime” post contest, you were really at a FAT PRIME where you gorge, and eventually the “holding water” and filling your muscles with glycogen just surpasses the state where your metabolism thanks you, and then you put on more weight than you lost. That is your own doing. Remember when you were hungry during prep? Well your still going to be hungry when you finish a contest diet, reality of it is, you have to have some willpower. That is VERY tricky though, because you unfortunately don’t have that goal in front of you to get to a show for a certain date, so you lose sight of that strength that you had to get to the show. truth be told, you have to be even stronger than that person that fought to the stage. Eat to live. Do not live to eat.

You want to be a physique competitor? You want to be a bikini competitor? Oh ok. That’s great. BUT YOU NEED TO LOOK AT THESE GIRLS ON STAGE – PARTICULARLY THE ONES THAT YOU WOULD WANT TO LOOK LIKE – for example, DLB, Justine Munro, Kim Tilden, Nathalia Melo, Candice Keene, Larissa Reis, Erin Stern.. List CONTINUES. These girls did not pick up a weight one day and turn pro. They had athletic backgrounds and had to put in their 110% effort to compete. If you want to do a show and you’ve never done anything but cardio, consider a long offseason, work on making gains. THEN diet down. If you just start “training for a show” and your 90 lbs soaking wet chances are when you walk onto a physique stage you will look like a stick and you will wonder “what the fuck am I doing”

Yes, some of you ARE stage ready at this point, and you look insane, and you fucking ROCK THAT SHIT. BUT – there are a few people who want to compete just to get on stage and have fun. And because their proud of their selves. Ok, unfortunately this might sound rude but … GO do a photoshoot, get some boudoir pictures for your man… Whatever. But this sport isn’t for the light hearted. So if you jump on stage to have fun, without dragging every last bit of ass you have to get to the stage, be prepared to get stunned.


I met a LOT of people in my first year competing. I was actually very lucky to have the opportunity to meet all of these people and whether they are acquaintances or great friends of mine, I am very thankful for having that opportunity and I want to briefly list the order of events that really put me where I am now.

1) Ben Pakulski – first bodybuilder I ever really saw. Saw him at a Photoshoot with my dad back in the day before I got into this. Had a giant 16 year old crush on him. Went to Nationals, watched Ben and Athena win their Pro cards. Got inspired.
2) Asked someone for assistance in getting into an offseason and work towards a show, they said I was too young to compete. Got disheartened.
3) received assistance, was thankful they gave me the opportunity to learn and be patient enough to show me the ropes – I was clueless
4) prepped for my first show. Didn’t look spectacular, still worked my buns off and proud of it. Second show, fat as a pig.
5) Got fat, got on board and competed twice that same fall. Didn’t place top 3, then got 2nd at a Level 1 show (when the 3 tier was in place)
6)Met Kim Tilden somewhere along the lines of the fall show. welcomed me in with open arms to her club, did whatever she could to get me to the stage while I prepped myself. Fedel Clarke put me through a couple workouts to show me how strong I could actually be before these shows as well. Self doubt is killer, glad I had that push.
7) Kim Tilden – taught me and continues to teach me absolutely everything she knows. Character, Nutrition, Performance, Compassion, Acceptance.

I reflect back, and although proud of myself and how far I’ve come.. Think what if I waited, what if I worked up to it more… what If I found Kim at the start… Well I didn’t. So I had to learn these things through my own journey, and hopefully you will all be able to speak of your journeys once they begin and share them with us all as well. I hope nobody has become overly offended by this post, but this is me. This is raw. This is what is on my mind.

Beaner OUT.

Single Digits

Its down to 9 days from the Toronto Pro. I am stoked.

I made a few predictions on on what I think about the show and how the ladies are going to pan out in the pro ranks, as well as for May 25th New York Pro.

I feel so un-Canadian saying this, but I am more excited about how the bodybuilders are doing than how the Leafs are doing… and we can all agree that they did so well cuz they only had a half season… anymore and they woulda gotten rocked. Although I did have faith at one point, the leafs losing in the playoffs is a streak that will always prevail.

ANYWAYS – If you are not aware of how awesome the NY Pro show is, you should definitely get on board and check the lineup:

Rippin big dirty’s

So as I reflect on yesterday’s post…. I realize none of it made sense as I was all over the map. Oh well. At least it turned out to be a wicked day!

Got to down some coffee and get crazy buck wild, a decaf from Kimbo and the most amazing Iced Americano from Second Cup with my girl Crystal!(thank you for this awesome picture)

Second Cup Baby!

Second Cup Baby!

I drank mine black with a couple Stevia packs in them. Always bring some extra from home just in case I want to throw one in a treat like the coffee or in some oats with my meal.

For a few years now, I was having some serious gastro issues whenever I chewed gum, drank diet pop and anytime i’d use a sweetener in my coffee. Those little devils made me fart ALL the time, made people not like me because I was smelly, and made me really uncomfortable for the amount of stress it put on my system. Sometimes that pain was ruthless! It wasn’t until I decided to boycott the whole group of those little buggers that things started to change. My family and friends are really happy that I switched to stevia. Now they only have to deal with egg farts.

One thing I can tell you, is a lot of my fitness buddies have been complaining about tummy troubles, and they know it’s from too much aspartame – ie. gum, diet pop, sweeteners, diet drinks of sorts..

Well friends, I challenge you to this.


If you can make it two full weeks without aspartame, you will feel phenomenal. When we eat clean, we already feel like that, but sometimes there’s that bloat, underlying tummy troubles and farts and whatever comes with this stupid chemical. Get on the Stevia train with me – I promise you the taste gets easier. Just like the first time you had coffee, you had to get used to that taste and now you love it, so lets learn to love Stevia and scrap the splenda and the twin sugar and all that crap.


Next time you want to curb that craving, drop by a natural health store and grab some gum or some stevia sweetened pop and save yourself the pain. It’s actually good too! I recommend the NOW brand of Stevia, seems to not have any weird taste afterwards.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, then drink that lemonade and egg on the rest of the day.

So after an extremely inspiring week, I have been once again grounded and humbled at my regular job. Not only was this morning one from hell, but it was one that made me remember that this feeling is temporary.
At the end of today, I’m going to be busting ass and hanging out with the most enthusiastic girls I know. I am so thankful that this came today as it could not have happened at any better of a time. I am also very grateful for the downtime I’ll have with the most supportive person in my life, James!!!! And we will be celebrating with my backbone, who I generally refer to as mom, as she turns … well 29 again tonight! Woohoo!

These things they call setbacks, they really need a new name. It all really falls down into how you perceive the situation at hand. If there is room for you to overcome a little bump in the road, then overcome it. The future has more in store for you, and you can leave those insignificant shortcomings behind. Then you call those setbacks stepping stones, because each step you take is one in the direction of your goal. Eventually you will sail smoothly over those stepping stones, because you will perceive that situation as one that you can deal with, fix easily, not stress over. If it’s happened before, it makes it 10x easier to deal with the next time, overcome and adapt.

I’ve got a bunch of measurable goals laid out, not too many, not too few and none that are out of my reach. If College or High School taught me anything, it was to set Simple, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely goals. I haven’t started a board or anything, I know some people do that and I think it’s a great idea, but I’ve got them written down. I’ve got them in my head, and they give me the fuel to self-motivate on the days I struggle.

So moral of the story:
Although my morning was shitty, there is no use dwelling. If I sit here complaining about what has been, then I forget the bigger, brighter things that weigh more than those little unforeseen circumstances. I’m working towards an achievement here. No 9-5 job is going to haunt my thoughts in the process.

It’s time for May 2-4. Im getting wild with my ladies, so go get wild and do something cool.
Beaner out!

Getting down to the Cellular Level

So i’ve had a lot of time to research lately, as my offseason programs are usually generated in cycles of trial and error with different approaches.

If you recall, these are the goals i set for myself this offseason:

  • Build mass on my upper body
  • Keep my conditioning in check
  • Bring down my legs
  • achieve an overall “harder” look year round
  • Maintain a 10 lb fluctuation from stage weight

So far i’ve managed to keep those goals in mind, and basically maintain a healthy physique to contribute to my succession of these goals.

I found the following article on Controling Leptin and Controlling Your Leanness

After hearing so much about why you “shouldnt bulk, should bulk, stay within 10 lbs, stop doing cardio completely” la de da de da. THere are so many opinions, that whatever you do, it seems to be right or wrong based on someone’s philosophy.

So i realized, we gotta get down to the cellular level of body mechanics and how it responds to your diet; what happens when you eat, what happens when you eat too much, what happens when you eat too little, what happens to your body? How does it adapt….

Most of you are familiar with the recent scare of “Metabolic Damage” and I think this article is indeed something you should read, to get right down to the nitty gritty of how your body is REALLY reacting. Leptin and Insulin people, the production of hormones and all that jazz, its a wonderful thing. And if you know how to manipulate your bodies levels – you know it starts by avoiding Gluttony.