The Mental

So i’ve always considered myself a hard ass. Someone who can just block out any bullshit and muscle through the rough.

Well, this year my mental game has been soft. I’m going to open a whole new can of worms for you because i’m not ashamed.

Well, those of you who know me well know I’ve got a poor relationship with one half of my family. Well, this year the last straw was pulled and I pulled the short one, so it was my time to turn the other direction and forget about ’em. Well, this tough love thing and moving on is pretty tough, but until I can clear my mind of that negative junk, it’s gotta be wayyyy left field. Despite the non-clinical diagnostic, I was constantly baffled by the idiocy of one narcissistic sociopath, and I’ve come to terms that even though I’d laugh off their actions, smile and nod politely, it really pissed me off. The coddling of this individual by their keepers was another scenario that turned me purple. If you could picture yourself trying to explain something to a piece of burnt toast, you would understand that conversation did not go far, it just seemed to dry out and go nowhere.

So here we are, moving forward and hoping to let it go and know I’ve tried my part, and it’s the best I could do. But my energy is better spent elsewhere, and that’s where we’re headed…

I have been working very hard at making Mighty Beanz successful, and have been trying to give my athletes an experience where they feel like they’re really being coached, and don’t just get a date stamp on their plan and say thanks for coming out and checking in. I truly believe in being personable and knowing each of my athletes. When the time comes where I can’t be the SINGLE human to touch base with, Mighty Beanz will look for an assistant coach so to speak, but that is way down the road. Right now, i’m trying to learn as much as I can and teach as much as I learn. Sharing the wealth with my homies ;D

So over the course of building my brand I thought of a box full of things:
What am I feeling?
What are my goals?
What is my “timeline”?
Who’s here with me?
Who is rooting for me along this path to success?
What have I changed lately?
Am I growing as an individual?
Am I staying true to myself?

Well I answered them all pretty quick in a big cluster of thoughts. It was reciting all 50 states in a quarter of a second! 

Well, I’m feeling excited. I feel like i’m on FIRE, and that’s thanks to Martin Rooney and what I’ve been learning from him.
My goals are to exceed the salary I once made in 2013 at my “desk job”. I plan on exceeding it by 20%. I plan on meeting my halfway mark and exceeding it by 12% within the first half of the year.
Right now, I’ve got my “Family” surrounding me. My family is made up of a lot of non related people, but we’ll throw it out there because they deserve to know:
1) My mom and Mark, and their side of the family
2) My best half, Jimmy…… And Ella And Kimbo and Grace (so im basically in 5ths)
3) My training partners/coaches
4) My good friends who are older and more experienced in life than me
5) My students! I learn so much from you that you have no idea how much I appreciate working WITH you, I dont work FOR you, dont forget that!

Lately I’ve changed my ways and allowed myself to be “as busy as I want to be” and by that, I mean I don’t sit down very often. This blog was a freaking treat to get to write! I’ve re-arranged my schedule to ensure I am not sacrificing my quality of life, but i’m still doing the most I can to generate the results I want.

As an individual, I’m trying to grow and learn from all of the life that seems to avalanche down into my lap. I have to admit, I have made it out pretty good out of every situation. I have a solid handful of people to thank for being there for me for that, but the one person who’s words resonate with me most are Gord’s. He’s made me sit and really think about everything in the ways I wouldn’t think of myself…. And hell I really need that. Rather than everyone egging on the safe, average scenario, he makes me see my own worth… That is important to me.

Lastly, I think the best way to estimate if i’m staying true to myself is to view if i’m happy. Right now I can say since I’ve walked away from such a negative half of my life, I’ve welcomed a huge new flood of ideas and plans, and i’ve met some great people. It takes me less than a second to break the ice and feel comfortable around them, so i’d say yeah… Not changing for anyone, only growing.

Well, that’s my life. Identifying that underlying stress was important for me. It’s still one of those things that I’ll have creep up on me, but there’s too many good people, and good opportunities waiting right in front of me. Overcoming that dark, vulnerable side in my life is important. I’ll use my vulnerability to learn, and that little dark fire inside can burn out.

Brick by brick by brick.

Suppose you might wanna know

Well I guess I kind of blew away in the wind after the Ontarios and I turned into a ghost……. Aside from my little facebook rants and twitter one liners that had me off my rocker… I cant fight the passion!!

Well – for those who are unaware, I did not place top 5 so that means I am not going on to compete at Nationals. Although yes, that would be cool to do… I am happy that I’ve got the time off, enjoying my brand new HOUSE with the love of my life, and just acting like some kinda grown up… NOT!

Well I placed 12th, and where I leave the judging in the judges hands, I think my look was pretty fly. I am really happy with how everything came together, and Kim had me looking like a cartoon up there! I was so FULL and friggen Muscular!!!!!!! Wow. After 5 hard years of training, we got it all down pat and brought this:
janine3 janine5 janine2 janine4 janine6

So that was fun, I got to hang out with my buddies backstage and we just embraced the wait, and enjoyed every moment! Alexa, Jenna, Elena, Lauren, Noelle… You guys were great! I was especially stoked for my friend Jenna who won our class in figure C. You looked dynamite my friend – and your engaged!!! so thats even cooler!

Onto the next –

So some of you might drop your jaws, some of you might already know and some of you arent even reading this far down. And since one of you is my mom I want to take this opportunity to say HI MOM 🙂

I have decided that I will be working with Dr Layne Norton.

layne norton

He is truly a mastermind. I’m almost on week 3… I still think this is some kind of joke because i’m so baffled with how well the process is going. I have been counting macronutrients and it is VERY fun. If you’ve known me long enough you know I love math and I get excited about numbers… My Dad used to give me minute maths with my oatmeal every morning from grade 1 onward… I am a geek. This whole macro counting thing is bad ass, and totally reminds me of those good ol’ days.

Also for those of you who are flipping your shit – I did NOT leave Kim on bad terms. We thought this would be an incredible opportunity for me to learn, and it seems like i’ve been learning something new everyday with Layne, and the guy is SOLID too. None of this bullshit cookie cutter heres your shit dont talk to me for a week… He talks to me and other teamies on facebook, he responds within the minute sometimes to email… Just solid and his attitude is geared specifically to long term success for us clients!!

With that said, Layne and I discussed competition plans, and decided that sitting out this fall would be of my best interest.

LONG term goals baby! I got time fo DAT!

Beaner OUT!


I know my blogs have all been about fitness lately, and I haven’t been doing anything overly fun and exciting…

HOWEVER – the other day James and I DID go trailing and it was a hella good time.

He’s missing his sidekick, and I’m missing my sidekick so we’re equally ready to cut down the work load after this show and get a bit of down time. We’re moving into our first house on June 14 and we couldn’t be more excited. Both of us have gotten to the point where we’ve outgrown a bedroom, and not having any alone time (if you know what I mean) can kinda get to ya.

So the reason for this jib jab of mine.. Here we go.

I can’t help but notice everyone is jumping on the Fitness Bandwagon. And I get it, it’s cool, it’s hard work. It’s worth something to a lot of people and it’s a huge lifestyle change that you SHOULD be proud of! How far you come from wherever you were before is a HUGE win for yourself. You should be proud of that.

Although, some people seem to be jumping on the “extremist super fitness wagon” where they decide to get ready for a show – be it 6 weeks out or 6 months out, and they all of a sudden are Ms. Figure, Ms. Bikini, etc etc. The problem with this, is we are in a sport called BODYBUILDING, and part of that process entails persistence and patience. I have been training since I was 17 years old, now 21 – I still am not at my ideal physique. Do I worry about that? No. Do I start taking a huge abundance of drugs and destroy my health and well being so I can look like that for my next show? No. I believe in HEALTH, and small, incremental changes from year to year. If you work hard, those details really come out when you step on stage. then you don’t have to worry about something “malfunctioning” … “retaining water”…. whatever. You just fucking work and when the going gets tough you be TOUGHER. Then you take a step back, reassess the plan, and make an action plan to further improve. This sport isn’t about getting to the top of the ladder the fastest. I woulda lost all hope and quit competing after having to compete FIVE TIMES before I even qualified for ONTARIOS. Come on, you see so many people at Ontario’s now and you’re like ” holy shit, you took that long, you must have looked like shit” … well partially, but I actually learned something during that time.

So now I want to give back, and hopefully give you all some insight on what I believe to be VERY important in this industry, whether you’re only here for the hype or you’re actually willing to put in the time and effort to have some longevity in this sport.

You see someone who looks insane at the gym or in a magazine. You approach a trainer at the gym and ask them to get you into that shape, they agree, take your money, and you have no idea what you’re getting into.
DISASTER AWAITS. Although I can’t say every trainer sucks, you can’t expect an average CanFitPro trainer to be able to get you into contest shape. As well, just because someone has DONE A SHOW does NOT MEAN they have a fucking clue. Generally, they follow a trainers program to get to their show, and if they looked good – their trainer was half decent. Sometimes phenomenal. That being said, this does not entitle them to “EXPERT” status, as they only know what they were told by their trainer for THEIR BODY. Go online, look up the people who inspire you, be it local, professional, semi-pro or just competitive. Look at WHO trains them, try to get details on HOW they train. Get a GOOD trainer. Learn from them, maybe branch off to a different trainer after that. BUT LISTEN TO ONE FUCKING PERSON ONLY if you’re going to train with them. Nothing is worse than trying to coach someone and wondering WTF is going on, only to find out Bob Saget told them chicken was going to give them cancer so they start eating black beans or some bullshit.

Not all trainers can handle a large client load. You sign up for a cookie cutter program for the most part if that’s the case. Unless your Eric (Lean Bodies Consulting) or Layne Norton- but they charge a big buck for REAL INDIVIDUALIZATION.
Your coach should be basing your diet and training around you – Your height, weight, goal, and what you need to focus on to obtain a solid physique.

Nobody, I mean NOBODY should be eating a straight up fish and egg white diet. If you are, I hope you like fish and eggs and you’re doing it on purpose. That’s the path to clear MD(Metabolic Damage). When your body reaches a deficit BEYOND LOW CALORIE, it just stops. It says … hmmm well we’re not going to change shape, and we’re not going to lose anymore weight. quite frankly, we might even gain weight. Your trainer accuses you of cheating, lowers calories even more, from egg whites and fish to half of the egg whites and fish you were eating. Now not just diminishing carbs but diminishing any sort of food you were eating. You finish your show, don’t look nearly as good as you wanted, you binge, you gain 40 lbs. Suddenly, you cant lose that weight again. Your trainer says you have to diet harder than last time. You start at 1200 calories a day, you finish at 600. You still look like shit. If this sounds like you, GET A NEW TRAINER

Although most people say ” oh I rebounded so hard I have metabolic damage”. No. You don’t. You might have fucked it up because it was at an alltime low, and during your “Anabolic prime” post contest, you were really at a FAT PRIME where you gorge, and eventually the “holding water” and filling your muscles with glycogen just surpasses the state where your metabolism thanks you, and then you put on more weight than you lost. That is your own doing. Remember when you were hungry during prep? Well your still going to be hungry when you finish a contest diet, reality of it is, you have to have some willpower. That is VERY tricky though, because you unfortunately don’t have that goal in front of you to get to a show for a certain date, so you lose sight of that strength that you had to get to the show. truth be told, you have to be even stronger than that person that fought to the stage. Eat to live. Do not live to eat.

You want to be a physique competitor? You want to be a bikini competitor? Oh ok. That’s great. BUT YOU NEED TO LOOK AT THESE GIRLS ON STAGE – PARTICULARLY THE ONES THAT YOU WOULD WANT TO LOOK LIKE – for example, DLB, Justine Munro, Kim Tilden, Nathalia Melo, Candice Keene, Larissa Reis, Erin Stern.. List CONTINUES. These girls did not pick up a weight one day and turn pro. They had athletic backgrounds and had to put in their 110% effort to compete. If you want to do a show and you’ve never done anything but cardio, consider a long offseason, work on making gains. THEN diet down. If you just start “training for a show” and your 90 lbs soaking wet chances are when you walk onto a physique stage you will look like a stick and you will wonder “what the fuck am I doing”

Yes, some of you ARE stage ready at this point, and you look insane, and you fucking ROCK THAT SHIT. BUT – there are a few people who want to compete just to get on stage and have fun. And because their proud of their selves. Ok, unfortunately this might sound rude but … GO do a photoshoot, get some boudoir pictures for your man… Whatever. But this sport isn’t for the light hearted. So if you jump on stage to have fun, without dragging every last bit of ass you have to get to the stage, be prepared to get stunned.


I met a LOT of people in my first year competing. I was actually very lucky to have the opportunity to meet all of these people and whether they are acquaintances or great friends of mine, I am very thankful for having that opportunity and I want to briefly list the order of events that really put me where I am now.

1) Ben Pakulski – first bodybuilder I ever really saw. Saw him at a Photoshoot with my dad back in the day before I got into this. Had a giant 16 year old crush on him. Went to Nationals, watched Ben and Athena win their Pro cards. Got inspired.
2) Asked someone for assistance in getting into an offseason and work towards a show, they said I was too young to compete. Got disheartened.
3) received assistance, was thankful they gave me the opportunity to learn and be patient enough to show me the ropes – I was clueless
4) prepped for my first show. Didn’t look spectacular, still worked my buns off and proud of it. Second show, fat as a pig.
5) Got fat, got on board and competed twice that same fall. Didn’t place top 3, then got 2nd at a Level 1 show (when the 3 tier was in place)
6)Met Kim Tilden somewhere along the lines of the fall show. welcomed me in with open arms to her club, did whatever she could to get me to the stage while I prepped myself. Fedel Clarke put me through a couple workouts to show me how strong I could actually be before these shows as well. Self doubt is killer, glad I had that push.
7) Kim Tilden – taught me and continues to teach me absolutely everything she knows. Character, Nutrition, Performance, Compassion, Acceptance.

I reflect back, and although proud of myself and how far I’ve come.. Think what if I waited, what if I worked up to it more… what If I found Kim at the start… Well I didn’t. So I had to learn these things through my own journey, and hopefully you will all be able to speak of your journeys once they begin and share them with us all as well. I hope nobody has become overly offended by this post, but this is me. This is raw. This is what is on my mind.

Beaner OUT.

Single Digits

Its down to 9 days from the Toronto Pro. I am stoked.

I made a few predictions on on what I think about the show and how the ladies are going to pan out in the pro ranks, as well as for May 25th New York Pro.

I feel so un-Canadian saying this, but I am more excited about how the bodybuilders are doing than how the Leafs are doing… and we can all agree that they did so well cuz they only had a half season… anymore and they woulda gotten rocked. Although I did have faith at one point, the leafs losing in the playoffs is a streak that will always prevail.

ANYWAYS – If you are not aware of how awesome the NY Pro show is, you should definitely get on board and check the lineup:

Rippin big dirty’s

So as I reflect on yesterday’s post…. I realize none of it made sense as I was all over the map. Oh well. At least it turned out to be a wicked day!

Got to down some coffee and get crazy buck wild, a decaf from Kimbo and the most amazing Iced Americano from Second Cup with my girl Crystal!(thank you for this awesome picture)

Second Cup Baby!

Second Cup Baby!

I drank mine black with a couple Stevia packs in them. Always bring some extra from home just in case I want to throw one in a treat like the coffee or in some oats with my meal.

For a few years now, I was having some serious gastro issues whenever I chewed gum, drank diet pop and anytime i’d use a sweetener in my coffee. Those little devils made me fart ALL the time, made people not like me because I was smelly, and made me really uncomfortable for the amount of stress it put on my system. Sometimes that pain was ruthless! It wasn’t until I decided to boycott the whole group of those little buggers that things started to change. My family and friends are really happy that I switched to stevia. Now they only have to deal with egg farts.

One thing I can tell you, is a lot of my fitness buddies have been complaining about tummy troubles, and they know it’s from too much aspartame – ie. gum, diet pop, sweeteners, diet drinks of sorts..

Well friends, I challenge you to this.


If you can make it two full weeks without aspartame, you will feel phenomenal. When we eat clean, we already feel like that, but sometimes there’s that bloat, underlying tummy troubles and farts and whatever comes with this stupid chemical. Get on the Stevia train with me – I promise you the taste gets easier. Just like the first time you had coffee, you had to get used to that taste and now you love it, so lets learn to love Stevia and scrap the splenda and the twin sugar and all that crap.


Next time you want to curb that craving, drop by a natural health store and grab some gum or some stevia sweetened pop and save yourself the pain. It’s actually good too! I recommend the NOW brand of Stevia, seems to not have any weird taste afterwards.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, then drink that lemonade and egg on the rest of the day.

So after an extremely inspiring week, I have been once again grounded and humbled at my regular job. Not only was this morning one from hell, but it was one that made me remember that this feeling is temporary.
At the end of today, I’m going to be busting ass and hanging out with the most enthusiastic girls I know. I am so thankful that this came today as it could not have happened at any better of a time. I am also very grateful for the downtime I’ll have with the most supportive person in my life, James!!!! And we will be celebrating with my backbone, who I generally refer to as mom, as she turns … well 29 again tonight! Woohoo!

These things they call setbacks, they really need a new name. It all really falls down into how you perceive the situation at hand. If there is room for you to overcome a little bump in the road, then overcome it. The future has more in store for you, and you can leave those insignificant shortcomings behind. Then you call those setbacks stepping stones, because each step you take is one in the direction of your goal. Eventually you will sail smoothly over those stepping stones, because you will perceive that situation as one that you can deal with, fix easily, not stress over. If it’s happened before, it makes it 10x easier to deal with the next time, overcome and adapt.

I’ve got a bunch of measurable goals laid out, not too many, not too few and none that are out of my reach. If College or High School taught me anything, it was to set Simple, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely goals. I haven’t started a board or anything, I know some people do that and I think it’s a great idea, but I’ve got them written down. I’ve got them in my head, and they give me the fuel to self-motivate on the days I struggle.

So moral of the story:
Although my morning was shitty, there is no use dwelling. If I sit here complaining about what has been, then I forget the bigger, brighter things that weigh more than those little unforeseen circumstances. I’m working towards an achievement here. No 9-5 job is going to haunt my thoughts in the process.

It’s time for May 2-4. Im getting wild with my ladies, so go get wild and do something cool.
Beaner out!

Aint Nothin To It

So as the weeks fly by and apparently there are only 2.5 weeks to go until Provincials, I can’t help but stop and think about how crazy this ride has been.

I’ve met so many great people over the past few weeks alone that I can’t even begin to tell you how much more motivating it is to get up and train everyday. It’s pretty inspiring to be surrounded by such like-minded, selfless people.

To top this whole experience off, this weekend is Kim Tilden’s bootcamp weekend. I have had the honour of working with this crazy lady since 2009. Looking back, I wouldn’t have it any other way, and would not have a single clue where I would be today. Probably no where. Probably wouldn’t have even made it past square 1. At the end of the day, she has managed to teach me so many things about this crazy lifestyle and about myself.

I cant wait to share the stage with all of my friends. Everyone of them looks beautiful, handsome, whatever you want to call it. I’ve watched every single one of them put their money where their mouth is and bang out every rep, every cardio and every morsel of a meal with everything they have in them. Like Ronnie says: Ain’t nothing to it but to do it!!! And guess what? He’s right!!!

If I can give you any piece of advice, it’s to enjoy the ride. If you don’t enjoy what you’re doing – what are you doing it for? Work hard for the things worth working for. For instance, if you wanted a car… You would bust your ass day in and day out at your job to make the money you needed for that sweet little v dub all supercharged with some grimy slicks. Would you complain when it was all said and done? No, because you have a sick ride and you earned it.

If your a fitness competitor, remember: YOU earned your body. Whatever you had to do, you did it and you sacrificed what you had to, so you could win. It was self vs self and YOU won that battle. No matter the end result, if you take home that $15 plastic trophy or if you walk away empty handed and humbled – you achieved that. You were granted that opportunity to walk onto the stage and showcase your full package. So complaining is not going to amount to anything. If you want something, work for it. Shut up – get it done. Negative energy drains you way much more than a HIIT cardio session, so keep your mind out of the gutter. Be proud, but keep your pride in check. Be happy for other peoples successes, they will be happy when you succeed too. Don’t forget to smile sometimes too. You CAN be focused and happy at the same time.

So that’s enough talk from me. Stay focused, stay positive, and everyone competing at the TPSS – get ready to rock and roll cuz this year we’re going to party back stage.

Beaner OUT!